The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti

Jessica Valenti’s book The Purity Myth takes on America’s growing obsession with abstinence. Her well-researched arguments shed light on the true nature of this trend—it’s just another kind of obsession with sex— and on the widespread harm it’s causing. While the book is not well-suited for changing the mind of someone who supports the pro-abstinence movement, Valenti’s thorough analysis does make clear the importance of this issue to anyone who agrees with her in theory but wonders if it really matters in practice.

Early in the book, Valenti establishes that the abstinence movement is at odds with its own goal of addressing the over-sexualization of girls and young women. By placing so much importance on the issue, she argues, the movement merely reinforces the idea that girls are defined by their sexuality. If women who have sex or want sex are dirty or filthy, then the logical extension of this is that the most desirable woman is one who does not want to be desired—hence the sexualization of preteen girls, and the phenomenon of men who want to have sex most with those women who aren’t willing to have sex with them. This is the basis for the link Valenti makes between the obsession with purity, which might seem naive but hardly catastrophic, to the obviously terrifying culture which forces sexuality onto young girls, and forces sexual acts onto both girls and women.

Valenti goes on to describe the methodology of abstinence-only education. She covers extensively the variations of outrageous misinformation spread by such programs (e.g. premarital sex is illegal), and the shaming tactics used (e.g. a girl who has premarital sex is like a dirty, unwrapped, partially-eaten piece of candy). This kind of anti-factual approach is not only detrimental in that it spreads misunderstanding and judgmental thinking; it’s also harmful in that it fails to give any solid reasons for not having sex, for those students who are not already in agreement with the values, religious and otherwise, of the movement. Specifically, for a young man or woman who doesn’t believe that sex is dirty and doesn’t trust the scary non-facts given by his or her school’s abstinence-only sex ed program, where will this young person find support when making any kind of decisions about sexuality? Valenti is clear that her position is not in favor of sex in all forms and at all times; rather, she is an advocate for placing teens in a position to make healthy and well-informed decisions on the issue.

At this point the book takes a turn towards the more disturbing, describing how the cultural purity myth has forced its way into legislation which restricts, harms, and (as in several examples given in the book) kills women. Valenti writes,

“Recent rollbacks of women’s political rights - reproductive rights, especially - stem directly from the belief that women shouldn’t have control over their own bodies. More and more, policy that affects women’s bodies is being formulated with the myth of sexual purity in mind. Our rights are very much dependent on how ‘pure’ we are. . . . This is where the purity myth gets truly dangerous. Because it’s not just encroaching on our lives through social influences, but directly through legislation - legislation that’s mired in fear of young women’s sexuality, paternalism, and a need to punish women who aren’t ‘pure.’”

The book goes on to describe an increasingly frightening series of hardships forced upon women by this type of legislation. For instance, public and legislative hysteria surrounding emergency contraceptives force one women to instead have an abortion (which, one assumes, was hardly the goal of those who fought against access to EC); women who are denied rape kits (which collect evidence after an assault or alleged assault) because they appeared drunk, thus denying them of any opportunity to obtain evidence with which to prosecute their attackers; a woman in the Air Force who, after being raped and attempting to report the assault, ended up being the only person charged with any wrongdoing in the act; and so on. If anyone reading this book was wondering why any of this really mattered, the answer is all too clearly evident in these horrifying stories.

Ultimately, though, one of the most compelling points that Valenti makes is that the obsession with virginity is based on moral nonsense. In the book’s introduction, Valenti writes,

“While boys are taught that the things that make them men—good men— are universally accepted ethical ideals, women are led to believe that our moral compass lies somewhere in between our legs. Literally.”

In essence, she is arguing that no good can come out of a system of beliefs that places one’s virginity at the center of one’s ethics, to the exclusion of such lesser virtues as helping others, supporting one’s friends and family, or being responsible and honest. This point comes up often in the book, of course, in powerful ways; however, I found myself wishing for more direct focus on this argument, and for more research on the question of whether abstinence-only education does indeed correlate with weaker moral values on non-abstinence-related issues.

This question relates to my only real issue with the book, which is that Valenti trains her sights on the most outrageous incarnations of the pro-abstinence movement, without allowing for the possibility that a more moderate and intelligent form of the movement might also exist. Maybe, for example, somewhere there’s a high school which puts its emphasis on community service, and is also extremely against premarital sex. If there is, we won’t learn about it from this book. Valenti criticizes those who smear feminists as all-sex, all-the-time, anti-responsibility extremists, but at the same time, her book seems to suggest that all supporters of the pro-abstinence movement are obsessed with virginity and virginity only, enamored of the Purity-Ball-esque abstinence culture, and unconcerned with the truth behind their arguments and statistics. Valenti doesn’t allow for any well-reasoned voices from the other side to speak, and this means that her book might not reach as many people as it otherwise would. However, her goal is to take a stand specifically against those who make this issue the center of our culture and the foundation for our legislation and public actions, and to this end her aim is perfect in this book.

Overall, Valenti’s book is a powerful analysis of a number of interrelated issues, and I enjoyed the thoroughness and thoughtfulness of her arguments. As she writes, “the ideal situation would be one in which no one has to attack or defend sexuality because our focus would be elsewhere”—but in the meantime, it’s great fun to see how Valenti exposes the shaky foundations and devastating consequences of the abstinence movement.

Reviewed by Rina Foygel

The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti
Seal Press, 2009
Cloth, 300 pp, $24.95
ISBN-10: 1580052533

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