By William Lobdell

In his new book, Losing My Religion: How I Lost My Faith Reporting on Religion in America—and Found Unexpected Peace, William Lobdell asks—and answers—an old question.

Mr. Lobdell’s query: Does God exist? His response: No.

I apologize for the spoiler, but of greater interest is how Lobdell arrived at this end point.

No: an interesting final option perhaps, but not a new one and not cogently argued. Why did Lobdell’s faith really fail? What thoughts supported this contention?

Lobdell gets to work immediately, using a distinctive style employed by columnists. He lays the groundwork giving us a quick recap of “inherited” family religious affiliations. He follows these biographical notes with various excursions into many religious philosophies and their respective styles of worship. Midway into experiences that provided mixed levels of religious satisfaction, a possible “mystical experience occurs, in which he accepts Christ as his Savior. This development moves the author into an evangelical state supported by some fortunate events he attributes to God’s favor with his conversion. Still early in this memoir, Lobdell realizes that exploring religious topics suits him best and his ambition of attaining work as a part-time paid columnist with the Los Angeles Times materializes. This development is an important part of his renewed feeling of fulfillment and direction. Recognition of profound disparities among sects and evangelistic types persist, however, along with his simmering disillusionment.

The nexus of Lobdell’s essay becomes apparent in Chapters 8-10 when his religious high becomes a constant questioning of Catholicism’s fundamentals. The development of several national scandals, specifically, Father Hollywood Harris, reinforces his uneasiness regarding religious commercialism and child molestation issues—termed “soul murder”—feed his feelings of discontent. Gradually, the author undergoes a “spiritual body blow” and gives his doubts full rein. He loses faith.

In brief passages, particularly in the Chapters titled “Letting Go of God” and “Welcome to the Edge,” Lobdell writes referring to earlier column material regarding his fall from faith. Here he says:

My piece did receive criticism, the most consistent being that I had witnessed the sinfulness of man and mistakenly mixed that up with a perfect God. I understand the argument but I don’t buy it. If the Lord is real, it would make sense for the people of God to be superior morally and ethically to the rest of society. Statistically, they aren’t. I also believe that God’s institutions should function on a higher moral plane than governments or corporations. I don’t see any evidence of this. It’s hard to believe in God when it’s impossible to tell the difference between His people and atheists.”

Do I buy the author’s arguments? No. Sin, like death and taxes will always be with us along with mixes of good and evil, part of the Human Condition. “Sin” in one society may be met with indifference in another. Lobdell demonstrates much determination in accounting for his reasons to abandon faith and maybe there is no pie in the sky. Fine. Certain questions will always be asked: What is truth? What is love? Doesn’t love include absolute trust and doesn’t that devolve into faith? In dealing with the concept of a God-like loving father does that equal being fair? In any religion, can one attain an instruction level that realizes one’s true belief? Is salvation extended to all, even non-believers and what must one do to be certain? Is Jesus playing a “sin eater” role? Why is worship necessary? These questions cannot be answered without faith.

I respect Mr. Lobdell’s candid telling of his emotional journey but this overly long tale might be strengthened by a little judicious editing. The question of why faith fails cannot be answered satisfactorily and certainly wasn’t in this volume.

Reviewed by Joan Hives

Losing My Religion: How I Lost My Faith Reporting on Religion in America—and Found Unexpected Peace by William Lobdell
Collins, 2009
Cloth, 304pp, $29.95
ISBN-10: 0061626813